Round 1: BF v Air Supreme

Summer season 2006/7 kicked off in grand style with the much-anticipated grudge match between mortal enemies The Black Fish and Air 'Supreme'.

Most basketball aficionados already recognise that Air Supreme are a pack of indescribable wankers, but if there were any doubters out there, this game served to prove the point entirely. Still suffering at the hands of injury, the Black Fish recruited Western Australian surprise packet Eugene Ang for his first game in the hallowed black strip. The Black Fish found it difficult to develop their rhythm early in the game and to the surprise of the large courtside contingent the Supremes shot out to an early lead.

The bizarre pack of simian halflings that comprised the hilariously large support group for Air Supreme again demonstrated their true class and sportsmanship by cheering loudly for any Black Fish mistake (rare as they might be). Thanks largely to their sad efforts the Fish redoubled their efforts and recovered the lead as the first half drew to a close; simultaneously, tensions began to rise in the steamy atmosphere of court three, culminating in one of the more gutless efforts ever seen at MARS Stadium. Michael Chang, in his brief on-court appearance, took out all the years of frustration at having diminutive genitalia on an unsuspecting BF00, slugging him in the proboscis with a back fist behind play. The half-witted referee then performed the archetype of panicky umpiring in calling a technical foul on BF00 for no apparent reason at all. Little man Chang then took himself and his little beard to the bench where he hid for the remainder of the game.

As you all know by now, this is when the Black Fish are at their very best. The second half was simply a rout as an organised and methodical Black Fish outfit destroyed their hapless rivals. From early in the first half it was clear to all those present that the Fish were going to romp away with a large victory. It was at this stage that the Black Fish players were able to entertain themselves by torturing the fragile psyches of their little opponents. Several psychotic episodes ensued despite a surprising lack of toe-treading and other behaviours recognised throughout the league as invariably inducing crazed behaviour in anyone wearing an Air Supreme uniform.

In the end it was an easy 41-27 victory to the mighty mighty Black Fish. All five Fish were outstanding, including first-gamer Ang who proved that Western Australians have skills other than running from RBTs. The Air Supreme support group, strangely quiet in the second half as their little men were humiliated, trudged off into the cool Marden night, back to their pathetic little lives.

For the Black Fish it was a magnificent start to their summer season campaign and the first step on the path to finals glory.