Round 17

The late night Court 3 supermatch between the Mighty Black Fish and the Less-than-mighty Aussie Bruddhas attracted spectators from as far afield as France. Understandably, the entire population of France has recently switched their attention from the curious head-butting underperformance of Les Bleus to the far more skillful game of basketball, Marden-style.

And in a performance which sent shivers down the spine of the Australian spectators, the MARS referees managed to surpass Graham Poll in the atrocity of their performance. Unlike the Englishman, who retained the last fragments of his credibility by retiring immediately, the MARS crew remain to referee another day.

Unfortunately for Les Fleurys, the game was far from spectacular. Faced with an opposition replete with a cast of genetically-disadvantaged, Dora Maar-faced, dermatologically-nauseating, cortex-deficient freaks reminiscent of a Victorian-era travelling show, the Fish were - in a sense - in a no-win situation. In another, more accurate sense, the Fish were in a win situation.

And win they did. After a slow start, in which they were lulled into a false sense of absolute dominance, the Whittle-Edwards-Vasilunas-Nissen-Noutz highlight reel began. All five Fish produced a complete performance in both offense and defence, and all contributed on the scoreboard. Nissen, in particular, impressed the in-laws with some sweet Magic Johnson-style assists, with none of the rather less pleasant Magic Johnson-style CD4 deficiency.

Cruelly abandoned by their wives, the Black Fish scoring bench was again salvaged in fine style by the spectacularly committed Caroline, whose unflagging cheerleading will no doubt soon see her in the BF Cheer Squad Hall of Fame, if not actually taking to the court.

By late in the second half the game had degenerated from a circus freak show to simply a circus. In a measure of the complete dominance of the Fish, the referees simply gave up. Fortunately BF11, the imposing Noutz (C), adapted to the spirit of on-court anarchy in true BF style, crashing through a Bruddha less than half his size in a near lethal full-body collision. Sadly for all present, the clash resulted in no serious injuries.

In a percentage-boosting performance, the Black Fish eventually ran out winners 51-10, extending the winning streak to five games. The video highlights are so pathetically one-sided that none will be shown for this round.

Having successfully negotiated a potential danger game, this proud club turns its attention to a pivotal encounter with league leaders, perpetual nemeses, and traditional rivals the Fakers.